MATTHEW 12:46-50
USUALLY WHEN I AM STUDYING A TEXT for a tract I look first for what Martyn Lloyd-Jones called “the great theme.” The great theme is just the main theme, but I prefer the word “great” because it reminds me that the truth emphasized in a particular portion of Scripture is great, eminent, extraordinary, and important!
With such a short and straightforward text as we have here, it didn't take me long to find the great theme. The great theme is that a relationship with Jesus takes priority over every other relationship, even the relationship with one’s family. We might say that what Jesus said in 10:37a is illustrated here—“Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me.” The abbreviated version is, Jesus first.
Matthew has slowly been building to this pivotal point of calling the readers of this Gospel to make a decision to put Christ first in their lives. We’ve seen the push to this point of decision especially in the most recent context where Jesus claimed to be greater than the temple and Solomon. So although other voices swirl in the air—the negative voices of the Pharisees, the confused voices of the crowd, and even the concerned voices of Jesus’ mother and brothers—we need to listen to the beloved Son. We need to listen to what Jesus has to say about our relationship with him being of preeminent importance.
Even the "Holy Family" Was outside the Household of Faith In this passage we will see two seemingly roundabout ways that Jesus gets to this great theme. First, in verses 46-48 he teaches that at this point in his ministry even his family is outside the household of faith.
We read in verse 46, “While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him.” Then we come to verse 47. Wait a minute—there is no verse 47! This verse is not included in the esv because some of the more reliable Greek manuscripts of the New Testament do not contain it. We have over 5,000 Greek manuscripts of the New Testament from different times and places, and there are relatively few variants. However, from time to time there is a slight mistake in the copying process—someone forgot to copy a letter, a word, or something small like that. Other times, like our verse 47, someone decided to add a sentence. (This doesn’t happen very often.) Some scribe copying these verses thought the words “he replied to the man who told him” didn’t make sense unless this “man” was first introduced, so he inserted, “Someone told him, ‘Your mother and your brothers are standing outside, asking to speak to you.’” Now, whatever you think of this insertion, please note that whether this verse is inserted or not makes absolutely no theological difference. It basically repeats the action of verse 46. It is also quite close to Mark 3:32b.
These sorts of differences (called textual variants) are what some unbelievers today make a big deal about—“The Bible is full of errors.” Not so. The next time you hear that, say, “Really, what kind of errors? Can you show me these errors?” And if they take you to 12:47 walk them through what I just walked you through and explain to them that the manuscript evidence for the New Testament is the most reliable of any ancient document.
Anyway, let’s get back to verse 46 and then on to verses 48-50:
While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, "Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Jesus’ family comes up to the house that Jesus is apparently in (see 13:1; cp. Mark 3:20), they inquire of him, someone goes into the house and tells him, and then Jesus responds not to his family directly, but to “the man” and (most importantly) to his disciples who are within arm’s reach. He wants them especially to listen to what he has to say. His reply is, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” (v. 48).
With this reply, he is not being cute or ignorant. He knows he wasn’t dropped from Heaven into the manger at Bethlehem. He knows that Mary is his mother. He knows that Joseph, his earthly father, has died (that’s what most scholars surmise). And he knows he has sisters (13:56), who are not named in Matthew, and brothers, who are named—James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas (13:55). Jesus knew he had half-sisters and half-brothers.
I say as an aside that the mention of “brothers” here does not fare well for the Roman Catholic dogma of the perpetual virginity of Mary—that after Jesus’ birth she remained a virgin for her whole life. Sure, “brothers” can have a broader meaning. In Acts 22:1 Paul addresses his Jewish brethren as “brothers and fathers.” Such terms of Jewish fellowship were transferred to Christadelphian fellowship, which we see not only in the New Testament epistles but throughout Matthew, and “brother” or “brothers” is used a number of places in this way, including verses 49, 50. But the word “brothers” in verse 48, as it is used in eleven other places in Matthew, means blood brothers. This is evident to most who look into the matter. Even the distinguished Roman Catholic Biblical scholar Daniel Harrington notes in his commentary on Matthew (and he mentions nothing about this Catholic dogma except this), “It is doubtful that Matthew knew the tradition of the perpetual virginity of Mary.” Indeed.
I was a devout Roman Catholic for much of my life. I don’t have an axe to grind, but I’m addressing this now because that’s my background and I notice these things. When I read “brothers,” I say, “What? Jesus had brothers?” But I’ve included it here to say that the exegesis of Scripture must determine doctrine, and thus if Jesus had brothers, then Mary was not a perpetual virgin, which means earlier in Matthew when we read that Joseph “took his wife, but knew her not until she had given birth to a son” (1:24b, 25a), the word “until” means what it always means.
Let's return our focus to verses 46-49. Why is Jesus’ family there in the first place? Matthew does not explain. He just tells us they are “outside.” That’s an important spatial and theological position. Jesus and his disciples are inside. Mary and Jesus’ brothers are still outside. They are likely outside because they haven't been following him like the disciples have.
While Matthew seems to indicate their indecision, Mark and John tell us that at this point Jesus’ family was not “in complete sympathy” with Jesus' ministry. In fact, in John 7:1-5, which comes after Jesus has fed the 5,000, walked on water, and done many other miracles, we learn that his brothers wanted Jesus to leave town because they feared for his life. John then interprets their actions: “For not even his brothers believed in him.” In Mark 3:20, 21 we find a similar disposition of disbelief. Jesus’ family wants to seize him before the authorities do. Perhaps they know of the Pharisees’ plot to destroy him (12:14), and they want to put a stop to it. That is why they are knocking on the door.
So when Matthew says they are “outside,” he means they are outsiders. That is, they don’t understand that Jesus’ mission is the cross. Even Mary, as faithful as she was thirty years ago in the story, like John the Baptist in prison (see 11:1-24), struggles to make sense of the Suffering Servant, that the Messiah’s mission is the cross, that her own flesh and blood would die. She didn’t want him to die.
And so when Jesus says, “Who is my mother?” as harsh as that might sound to us, it is a far tamer sentence than he will use for Peter: “Get behind me, Satan!” (16:23a). But both Peter then and Mary have their minds set not “on the things of God, but on the things of man” (16:23b); both were on rescue missions to save Jesus from the ultimate rescue mission.
The great theme of this whole passage is Jesus first. However, the first sub-point is this ironic bit about the “holy family”—Mary and the brothers— being outside the household of faith. Sure, they are not as far outside as the Pharisees or even the crowd, but they are outside.
There are three applications of that.
First, if Jesus’ family showed confusion and concern and perhaps even hostility toward Jesus and the gospel, we today should not be surprised if unbelievers in our families think we are out of minds, or as Jesus made clear in his “Sermon on Suffering Mission” (9:35—11:1), if mother or brother rise up against us to persecute us (10:21), if “a person's enemies [become] those of his own household” (10:36). We might express this first application as, don't be surprised by family division and derision. (Or, more visual than that, with Christ at the center, don’t be surprised if the nuclear family explodes!)
The second application is this: give it time. If you have a family member who does not believe in Jesus right now, give it time. For this isn’t the last time we see Jesus’ family, is it? Michelangelo’s famous Pieta pictures Mary holding her son, Jesus, after his death. And while the Gospels don’t portray that, John does say she was present at the crucifixion: “When Jesus saw his mother... standing nearby, he said to his mother, ‘Woman, behold, your son! [John]’... ‘[John], behold, your mother!”’ (John 19:26, 27). John is commanded to take care of her. You see, Mary would look to the cross of Christ literally. She was right there looking. And spiritually, on that day or soon after, she would rejoice in God her Savior.
After the resurrection and on the Day of Pentecost, when the Holy Spirit came in power upon the apostles, who do we find inside the upper room, with Jesus’ disciples? “All these [the twelve apostles minus Judas] with one accord were devoting themselves to prayer, together with the women and Mary the mother of Jesus, and his brothers” (Acts 1:14). Isn’t that wonderful? Through faith in their resurrected Lord, these outsiders in Matthew 12 have become insiders in Acts 1. Through faith they became part of the true family of God. Jesus' mother became his “mother,” his brothers his “brothers.”
What happened when the wind of God breathed upon that room? That family preached Jesus as Lord, Jesus' brother James most notably becoming the head of the Ecclesia in Jerusalem (see Acts 15:13-21) and writing the epistle that bears his name and begins, “James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ” (James 1:1a). That is a humble admission for a brother.
The third application is this: putting Jesus first is incompatible with an overly high veneration of Mary, James, Peter, John the Baptist, or anyone else.
I hear the ecumenical mumblings and grumblings. “Oh, give it a rest. You've already debunked the perpetual virginity of Mary. Please leave the poor papists alone.” No, I won’t. I'm not beating a dead horse. I’m merely trying to kick a running one, a horse very much alive and well and galloping quite fast, even through my own town.
The Protestant Reformation was first and foremost a reform of worship. What should be the forms of worship? But more importantly, whom should we worship? To whom should we pray? Should we pray to Mary and the saints, or only to God through Jesus? The Protestant Reformers were willing to die over the issue of right worship. But have you heard any Catholic-Protestant debate lately? The debaters don’t debate these days. They play theological patty-cake. We’ll give a little room here, you give a little room there, and by the end of the evening everyone is holding hands. This happens while poor Truth has been dropped to the floor, kicking and screaming, pleading for someone to pick her up.
The Protestant Reformers were willing to die over the issue of idolatry. But Protestants today offer no protest when the devout Catholic down the street offers up a rosary, praying, “Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners,” or when someone prays the popular Memorare:
Remember, O most gracious Virgin Mary that never was it known that anyone who fled to your protection, implored your help, or sought Your intercession was left unaided. Inspired with this confidence, we fly to you, O Virgin of virgins, our Mother. To you we come; before you we stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not our petitions, but in your mercy, hear and answer us.
That is not mere veneration, as would be proper veneration for certain men or women of God. This prayer to God-like Mary is idolatry.
Do we find any such prayer in the Bible? Most certainly not! No one prays to Moses or David or Abraham. No one prays to Peter or Paul or Mary. We praise God and pray only to God. Read the whole New Testament. Read the apostolic fathers. Even read the church fathers carefully on this issue."
The Mary of the New Testament is a woman to be emulated, not adored as Matthew is pointing out, she shared the same flaws as Peter, John the Baptist, and James, and yet like them and the heroes of faith listed in Hebrews 11 she ran the race. She has opened the running lane for us so we might run the race set before us, looking to Christ Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith.
So Jesus first means we are to worship God alone. That’s a real modern day implication and application of this text.
Blood Is Not Thicker Than Water
The first thing we have heard from Jesus here is that even his family was outside the household of faith. That is the first sub-point of the main point—Jesus first. The second sub-point I’ll rephrase in this way: blood might be thicker than ordinary water, but the water Jesus has to offer—the water welling up to eternal life, the waters of baptism—is thicker than blood.
We naturally think, “My family is made of up those who are related to me by blood or some legal document. I had no choice in the matter, and I have to stick with them because they are well... blood. There is thus a thickness to our relationship.” But Jesus is saying, “That is true. You are related to certain people by blood, and there is a certain bond to that. However, the unity of Spirit through faith and baptism is thicker than that. That is, it is more substantial, permanent, strong, and sure.”
“Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” Look again at verses 49, 50. “And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, ‘Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.’”
With this bold statement Jesus is not breaking family ties but is loosening them. He is not dissolving natural family bonds but is showing the strength of the supernatural family bond. And what is beautiful is that Jesus puts no spiritual value in blood relations or religious heritage. Did you notice that? He doesn’t care if your father was the high priest or the Grand Poobah. The kingdom of God is not open to the who’s who but to “whoever” (v. 50). Isn’t that a refreshing word for a tax collector like Matthew? “Whoever”—Jew/ Gentile, man/woman, slave/free, saint/sinner.
Whoever what? Whoever believes? That’s what we would expect, right? Does Jesus mean, “whoever believes in him may have eternal life” (John 3:15)? Not here. What is emphasized here, as it is everywhere in Matthew, is doing. “Whoever does the will of my Father in heaven”—that’s who is in the Ecclesia, in family fellowship with the Father, “brothers and sisters” in Christ. Whoever does God's will.
Matthew is not redefining the Pauline doctrine of justification by faith. He is merely illustrating what that faith alone looks like: it is never alone. Those who are in fellowship with God through faith in Christ talk a certain way (12:36, 37), and they walk a certain way (5:3—7:27). Their words and works show they are right with God. There may be no do in the word disciple, but there should be. We somehow need to cram it in there, for do or does is the disciple’s distinctive. So, how is your doing doing?
You see, one is not a Christian by a mere profession of faith, church attendance, generous tithing, or baptismal rite. One is a Christian by being a “doing disciple.” So, as Paul perfectly exhorts, “Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith” (2 Corinthians 13:5). Michael Green summarizes this concept well when he writes of Matthew here bringing the importance of decision about Jesus to a climax. It is possible to be religious like the Pharisees, and still not be part of the kingdom of God. It is possible to be physically related to the Messiah himself, and still not be part of the kingdom of God. Religious practices and religious pedigree are utterly inadequate to bring anybody into the kingdom. There needs to be an acknowledgment of who Jesus is, and a determined decision to follow him.
That’s good. And I’ll add to that—not merely a determined decision to follow Jesus, but a disciplined doing of God's will. For as Pierre Bonnard writes, “The essence of discipleship is not mere profession, right doctrine, or even charismatic phenomena, but doing the will of God (7:21—23).”
But what is “the will” of God? It is the will of God to believe in Christ. And it is the will of God to “rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances” (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18), to love not the lusts of the world (1 John 2:15-17; cp. 1 Peter 4:1-5), to “abstain from sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3), and to “be subject... to every human institution” (1 Peter 2:13-15). Furthermore, it is the will of God (I’ll throw in a few family-related ones) to “provide... for... relatives” in need (1 Timothy 5:8), for elders within the Ecclesia to “manage [their] own households well" (1 Timothy 3:4; cp. Titus 1:6), for fathers and mothers to raise their children in “the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4), and for children to honor and “obey [their] parents in the Lord” (Ephesians 6:1).
Also, in the context of Matthew 8-12, it is the will of God to follow Jesus, listen to him, rest in him, be in awe of him, and acknowledge him as a king greater than Solomon in all his glory. Putting him first—that is the will of God, and that is what a disciple does.
Our Prayer
When I was wondrously converted to Christ over two decades ago, my sinner’s prayer was this: “Jesus, I know you are real. I have never doubted your existence or that you are the Son of God. But I have never asked you to forgive me. Will you please forgive me of my sin and clean me up on the inside, for I am so full of lust and pride. And I promise you that from this day forward I will put you first in my life. I’ve put you second or third or tenth. But I promise now to put you first.”
First above my girlfriend.
First above ambition.
First above school.
First above sports.
First above money.
First above family... yes, even above family!
Jesus first. That is what this text teaches. And that is what my prayer was then and what our prayer should be today.
(R. Kent Hughes. and Douglas Sean O'Donnell., 2013; edited Carl Hinton., 2020)